Having Borderline Personality Disorder means I get the “feels” x10. I deal with intense emotions with BPD, depression and anxiety and I know that I need to become more mentally tough. Mental strength needs to be developed just the same way we develop our bodies by working out; no one is just born with it. Although some people are naturally more resilient than others, there are ways to improve our mental strength starting now. Here’s what I’m going to do today:
1. Realize I Can’t Control Everything and Welcome Change
No one is able to avoid change so accept it and be flexible. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days already so believe in your ability to adapt and to deal with things. Accept change instead of avoiding it and recognize when something is out of your control.
2. Don’t Give Away My Power
We can’t control other people; we can only control ourselves. I’ve realized that I’m in charge of my emotions and no one can make me feel bad, unless I allow them to. I have the choice in how I want to respond and I’m responsible for how I feel. Take a breath, calm down and take a moment to decide how you want to handle things.
3. Stop Feeling Sorry For Myself
Life isn’t so easy or always fair. Things happen but how we react to events is what defines us. We can either dwell and sulk in our failures or learn from them and move on to the next. Changing our perspective about a situation can help tremendously in getting over the past and learning from it. Live for the now and plan for your future instead of wishing things could have been different.
4. Stop Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over Again
Accept responsibility, learn from the mistake and move on. If something doesn’t work stop sending more energy down that way. It’s like the sunk cost fallacy and it makes us make irrational decisions. We see something is not working but because we’ve invested so much money, time, energy etc. we keep doing the same thing over and over again. Cut your losses and move on.
5. Take Calculated Risks
This is a big one for me as I’m a huge worrier. I will overanalyze every last detail and even if I see it could be a viable plan, I always have a big, “what if” in the back of my mind. Recently, I made the decision to back to school to become a Personal Trainer and potentially leave my comfortable, decent paying bank job. Although I’ve already applied to school, researched careers, salaries, educational paths among other things, I still carry doubt as to whether this is all just a huge mistake. If you have done your homework and it makes sense, do it – take the risk!
6. Not Give Up After the First Try – Or the Second
Failure is not a good enough reason to give up; it’s a way for you to learn, grow and improve yourself. When something doesn’t work out the first time, keep trying until it works and try a different method. Ask for help or do more research, whatever it takes for you to achieve your goals.
7. Stop Feeling Entitled
No one owes us anything. Don’t get caught up in the belief that someone will take care of you or the world owes you something. You’ll have to get out there and get what you want.
8. Be Patient
Real change takes time whether it’s to transform your body or to start a new business. I need to remember there are no shortcuts and to keep persevering and pushing forward with my goals even when I’m not seeing any immediate results. I know they will come if I’m doing the right things.
What do you think? How do you deal with you limiting beliefs and get over them? Let me know below!